Thursday Thirteen, Edition Twenty-One:
Thirteen Cheesie Movies I Can Watch Over and Over
1. Dirty Dancing. Patrick Swayze brings the dirty; no one puts baby in a corner, indeed.
2. Steele Magnolias. When I am old, I will be Miss Claire to my girlfriend Joy’s, Ouiser although, she refuses to grow tomatoes. We’ve already discussed it.
3. Pretty Woman. I especially enjoy the part where everyone’s favorite prostitute goes shopping in thigh-high plether boots and is shocked when no one on Rodeo Drive will wait upon her. Shocked!
4. Parenthood. The closing montage in the hospital makes me cry. Every. Single. Time. All the happy, happy parents and the cute toddlers and the adorably squeezable babies, how could you not cry? Although, if you don’t that’s ok. Maybe sentimentality just isn’t your thing cough***freak***cough.
5. An Officer and a Gentleman. And, not just because our hero sweeps the damsel off her feet and carries her into the sunset, either. Ok, that’s totally why.
6. Urban Cowboy. John Travolta before Scientology sucked the sexy right out of him. Favorite bit of dialog:
Sissy: You happy?
Bud: Hell yes, I’m happy; you happy?
Dude, she’s living in a camper trailer with an abusive ex-convict with a penchant for eating poor defenseless tequila worms, how could she possibly be unhappy?
7. Sixteen Candles. "I can’t believe I gave my panties to a geek." We couldn’t believe it either, Samantha.
8. Hope Floats. The soundtrack is pretty awesome, too.
9. Bull Durham. Kevin Costner as Crash Davis had me at; "Well, I believe in the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days." Um, where do I sign up?
10. Point Break. Keanu Reeves in a rain-soaked tee-shirt=Chelle in a drool-soaked tee-shirt.
11. Footloose. Well, because everybody’s gotta cut footloose!
12. Say Anything. Admit it; you totally wish John Cusack would stand outside your window in the pouring rain, while holding a boombox from which In Your Eyes blares. You totally do.
13. Father of the Bride. It occurs to me that I might have a slight crush on Steve Martin. I said I might. On the other hand, it could just be that bit about me being a sentimental fool which, once again, might not be your thing and, that’s ok. Freaks.
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