Seriously, after all that discussion about flaming casts; the Man-Cub chose a green one. He said he picked it because green is his sister’s favorite color and because seeing it every day will make her happy. Which, leads me to wonder what she has on him and how long it will take her to tattle.
So, it's green. And, aside from being green (Green! Wha?!), the cast is also waterproof; something I did not know even existed! The modern world of orthopedic medicine is a phenomenal thing, I must say. For, now; the Cub is free to swim with the other children on the daycare's Tuesday field trips to the local pool. He can run through the sprinklers without fear and, thank ya lord jezus, he can shower regularly! With, like, shampoo and everything!
I'm so choked up, just, bear with me....whew, better!
You know, for just a second; I even considered letting him take his previously-planned swimming lessons. And, were it not a fact that the weight of the cast would throw off his stroke, resulting in something hideous; I might have allowed it. But, yeah, not so much, once a bad-swimming habit has been developed, it is really hard to break and I cannot allow a child of mine to have anything less than a perfect stroke.
And, yes, five summers of swim team when I was a child left me completely broken; I blame my parents.
And, I digress.
So, back to the topic at hand….
This is the plaster splint. Words cannot adequately describe the stench coming off the thing but, suffice it to say that, when the rather good-looking doctor cut it off the Cub’s arm, unleashing a green cloud of putridity; I totally denied responsibility. I may have even tried to blame it on Hugh for passing along a recessive gene for noxious body odor but, you can’t prove it.
In case you cannot read the inscription on the splint, it says; Man-Cub: If lost, please return to jungle. Dr. Hottie got a kick out of it so I did accept total credit for that. Like, duh.
This is the Cub’s new, improved and water-proof cast.
And, this is the Cub, looking mightily pleased with himself while plotting his next playground catastrophe. Saints preserve us.