Monday, March 10, 2008

Anyone Missing a Bone?

Because, I have an extra one in my foot if anyone needs it.

This and other surprise discoveries awaited me this morning when I returned to the podiatrist to be casted for my orthotics. In addition to the extra bone, my x-rays also show that I have a lovely set of heel spurs, one on each foot, as well as a bone spur on top of the big toe on my right foot. Oh, and let us not forget the “funky” thing that the joint between my toes is doing. Yes “funky”; I’m guessing that is a medical term because I still don’t quite understand exactly what it is that the joint is doing also, that is the term the doctor used.

So, yes. I am a freak. How did this happen? Was it a chemical mutation caused by my environment? A practical joke played on me by an angel on Heaven’s assembly line? I do not know but, if I ever decide to have a full-body scan, someone please stop me; the voyage of discovery is a terrifying thing and, frankly, I would rather remain blissfully unaware.

On the bright side, my abnormalities are on the inside and, thus invisible to the naked eye. I will take comfort in that and thank God they don’t include like a third nipple or something.

Just imagine how hard it would be to find a bra that would accommodate that.

1 comment:

  1. I knew a girl with a third nipple, once.

    I don't think I want to know all of the oddities of my body, it would freak me out.