The Cough That Ate Toledo

I’m not sick so, why am I still having random coughing fits? And, why am I still coughing up sputum? Is sputum even a word? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

Changing the subject; this weekend I get to skip the Man-Cub’s last wrestling tournament so that I may attend my woman’s club’s annual spring luncheon. I am modeling again this year but, in an unprecedented show of backbone, I refused to play the part of the bride. No ginormous wedding dress for this girl! Yay. In fact, I won’t be modeling anything that makes me self-conscious or uncomfortable. Instead, I will be modeling for a store from which I frequently purchase actual clothing. Clothing that I can wear on a daily basis. Clothing that does not require three layers of support undergarments, a fake tan and a pair of hooker heels.

I'm also not hostessing a table this year. The reason for that is simple; the luncheon’s theme is All Around the World, a collection of international tables and I simply had no idea for a table theme much less the dishes, etc. with which to decorate one.

So, instead of busting my ass to come up with a clever idea, I will be dining at one of my friend’s tables and enjoying the international menu. And, since I won’t have to serve, clear, pretend to be a dewy-faced bride, etc.; I bought a cute new dress for the occasion. And, I’ll actually get to drink the wine that some hunky man-who is not my husband-will be serving**.

Not surprisingly, I am quite looking forward to the luncheon this year.

**Ok, my husband is the only hunky man who ever serves wine at this thing. But, after a couple of glasses, will it really matter? I think not.