I can understand the excitement of the rapidly approaching holiday, I know that freedom from school bondage can be euphoric, I realize that eating three giant M&M cookies followed by a cocoa chaser will probably cause hyperactivity in the most slothful of children but, good LORD; these children are determined to kill me. The energy vibrating from them would be enough to power a small city and, while they are a force to be reckoned with separately; you can only imagine the mayhem they are capable of when united in a common cause (killing me, in case you weren’t following along).
Tomorrow, we leave for Mayberry so; I have a three and a half hour car ride with two crazy-hyper Christmas gremlins to look forward to and, the threat of narking on them to Santa can only go so far. At this point, I feel like I could hold a flashlight under my chin while weeping hysterically about how scared I am.
On the other hand, once we get to Mayberry, I will have back-up in the form of my parents except, who am I kidding? These are the Pod-People responsible for the complete spoilage of each and every one of their grandchildren; they are highly unlikely to pull out the big guns, now. No, Hugh and I are on our own.
It will be a Christmas miracle if we make it to the 25th without bloodshed.