Friday, November 05, 2010


If there was ever a thing to be grateful for, it is the fact that today is Friday. I have had an exhausting week which makes no sense to me whatsoever considering the fact that my children no longer require my presence at sporting events; where does my time go?

Speaking of my children, I am proud to report that they both made the school honor roll. Bumper stickers are on order although, The Teenager has threatened to disavow any knowledge of a relationship between us should I actually display said bumper sticker on my car.

She may change her mind as I have assured her that the alternative involves me displaying said bumper sticker on poster board while walking a circuit in front of her school, picket-line fashion, while wearing a t-shirt bearing her photo and the words PROUD MAMA OF THE TEENAGER!

On a totally unrelated topic, I think I heard her weeping in her sleep last night; can’t imagine what could have given her nightmares. Huh.

Anyway, it’s Friday. Tomorrow I get to sleep in and, while getting a mere additional hour of sleep constitutes sleeping in for me; I am really looking forward to it.

Then, I am attending a brunch hosted by one of the women in my woman’s club; we will be working on holiday decorations for our upcoming fundraiser and, experience has taught us that it is always more productive to work on these things in a group as we seem to be more creative, the work gets done faster and, we brainstorm ideas for the next event.

Bloody Marys and Mimosas may be to blame. Or, to credit, either way.

Sunday, I am planning to clean the house from top to bottom. It is my month to host Book Club and I don’t really want my guests to leave my home wearing cat and dog hair on their asses which, is bound to happen if I don’t vacuum my couches. Thank goodness for my new vacuum cleaner; it sucks like a two dollar whore.

As an aside, how well does a two dollar whore really suck? Would a four dollar whore suck twice as hard? I really don’t understand that analogy at all.

Oh well! TGIF!


  1. It stands to reason the more a whore is paid, the better she would suck.

  2. I've always loved that about you Minds; you are a practical thinker ;)