I'm a pretty mellow person by nature. I balance positive and negative emotions and always try to look for the bright side of any situation. That said, there are a few things that just righteously Piss. Me. Off. They are, in no particular order:
-Ordering a side of cheese curds in the drive-thru lane of the local A&W/Long John Silvers and getting practically home before realizing that my cheese curds are actually deep fried popcorn shrimp. If gas didn't cost almost four bucks a gallon, I would have driven right back and dumped those fucking shrimps right over the head of the moron working the drive-thru window.*
-Mouth breathers. Loud eaters. Loogie hawkers. Gross. Just, gross.
-People who are chronically late.
-People who are rude to waiters and waitresses.
-People who say one thing and then do the exact opposite. This kind of goes hand-in-hand with people who make promises and then break them as well as with people who tell me things that they obviously think I am too stupid to recognize as total bullshit. My bullshit detector, for the record? Fully functional and finely tuned, and; if I haven't called you on your shit it's probably because I am quietly plotting my revenge.
-Being underestimated, condescended to, patronized or dismissed.
-Men who stare at my breasts. Yes, they are a thing of beauty, but, so are my eyes, asshole.
-People who don't automatically understand the many references that I make to Zombieland. Double tap, people? No? Oh, come on!
*This would actually never happen, see above; rudeness to wait staff, distaste of.