Thursday, May 31, 2012

Pet Peeves

I'm a pretty mellow person by nature. I balance positive and negative emotions and always try to look for the bright side of any situation. That said, there are a few things that just righteously Piss. Me. Off. They are, in no particular order:

-Ordering a side of cheese curds in the drive-thru lane of the local A&W/Long John Silvers and getting practically home before realizing that my cheese curds are actually deep fried popcorn shrimp. If gas didn't cost almost four bucks a gallon, I would have driven right back and dumped those fucking shrimps right over the head of the moron working the drive-thru window.*

-Mouth breathers. Loud eaters. Loogie hawkers. Gross. Just, gross.

-People who are chronically late.

-People who are rude to waiters and waitresses.

-People who say one thing and then do the exact opposite. This kind of goes hand-in-hand with people who make promises and then break them as well as with people who tell me things that they obviously think I am too stupid to recognize as total bullshit. My bullshit detector, for the record? Fully functional and finely tuned, and; if I haven't called you on your shit it's probably because I am quietly plotting my revenge.

-Being underestimated, condescended to, patronized or dismissed.

-Men who stare at my breasts. Yes, they are a thing of beauty, but, so are my eyes, asshole.

-People who don't automatically understand the many references that I make to Zombieland. Double tap, people? No? Oh, come on!


*This would actually never happen, see above; rudeness to wait staff, distaste of.

1 comment:

Brian said...

Now, fast food joint drive thru window attendants are NOT waiters or waitresses. In fact, neither are the burger slingers lurking behind the cash register. If they pooch your order, ya gotta let 'em know! How else are they going to know they need to improve? (as if they care, right?)

All your other peeves? Spot on.

Got to admit, I am guilty of the breast stare down too. Not yours, of course!! But sometimes, when they're just hanging out there, it can't be helped.