I haven't written much lately, but please don't feel neglected; I also haven't baked or wrapped much, or watched my usual quota of Christmas movies, or drank more than a sip of eggnog. In short, I haven't really bothered to enjoy the traditions that we have come to associate with the holidays.
Oh, there are a few cookies in the freezer and the children won't wake up to a bare tree come Christmas morning, but, those things have required more effort than I am used to expending and I am, at best, phoning it in.
I haven't written lately because I don't want to merely phone it in here. I started this blog as a way to connect myself and my family to the people I was closest to, emotionally, yet farthest from, physically; today, I am farther away from half of those people than I ever wanted to be and I'm not sure that any amount of nouns, verbs, and adjectives on a page could ever bridge this gap.
So, I am finally trying to do what everyone has been telling me that I need to do for the past couple of months; I'm letting myself grieve.
I'm going to let this Christmas sort of suck.
I don't have any choice, really. I've tried the fake it till you make it method and, frankly, it isn't working. I don't, however, believe in inflicting the sads on others, so, I'm going to finish out this year with fewer posts, writing only when I feel emotionally capable of doing so without throwing a thin veil of melancholy over every paragraph; ain't nobody got time for reading that bullshit.
And, eventually, I'll get back to our regular programming of blythe optimism with a bit of raunchy humor thrown in for good measure.
In the meantime, I'm going to wallow in the sads while seeking joy, because I know that this, too, shall pass.
Seek and ye shall find...eventually.