Friday, March 13, 2020

I Would Have Written Sooner, But I Was Busy Hoarding Toilet Paper

Just kidding; as a longtime Sams Club shopper, I've been stockpiling toilet paper since my kids took their first poop on the potty chair, so no need to panic now. As an aside, the kids used to find this funny, now? Not so much.

So, what have I been doing while the world goes to hell in a Purell-coated hand basket? Working. Like, duh. Work now includes drafting the first ever Infectious Disease Emergency Protocol that New Job has ever had, and, that was fun.

I've also been fighting anxiety attacks and depressive episodes, with a side of panic over how we are going to get the Man-Cub home now that his classes have been transitioned to online for the remainder of the semester. Oh! And, let's not forget the concern over having Mom, Oscar, and Emily all in the age group most ripe for complications from the stupid Zika virus.

What's that you say? It's the Corona Virus? My bad; Zika was a distraction in a different election year.

Anyhoodle, as of this very minute, there are no cases of the virus in Hooterville. Or Petticoat Junction. Or, neighboring City, for that matter. There are a number of confirmed cases in the county adjacent to ours, so, it's inevitable that we'll pick up a case or twenty eventually (hence the Infectious Disease Emergency Protocol, lovingly drafted by yours truly).

I hope I don't get sick. I hope my loved ones stay healthy. I hope my staff continues to make it to work each day, and, I hope the toilet paper hoarders are happy.

As a distraction, here is a picture of my dog. He ain't worried about the Corona Virus, he just wants someone to throw his damn ball.

'Tis true!


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