And He Said It Couldn’t Be Done

For the past two months, Hugh and I have been keeping a secret from our family and friends.

And, while keeping the news a secret has been slowly eroding my will to live, I did it. And, I did it for two reasons; one, because I didn’t want to jinx it and two, because Hugh said that I wouldn’t be able to do it.

Seriously, he didn’t think I could do it. And, I was like pee-shaww! Of course I can keep it secret! And he was like, yeah, right. And I was like chall-enge! And he was like, it’s on, baby! To which I replied; you’re damn right. It. Is. On!

Because we are adults like that.

And, I did it. I kept it a secret for two whole months.

This weekend, it came to pass that it was safe to finally tell the secret and I did a victory dance in the living room the likes of which would rival that of the high school quarterback scoring the winning touchdown at the Sate competition who, by the way, will totally be getting laid by the head cheerleader and I was all BOOYAH! In. Your. Face! Victory!

Because my parents taught me to be a gracious winner and all.

Now I totally get to spill the beans so, without further ado, Hugh and I………………

…………bought a new car!

What? You didn’t think I was knocked up, did you?

So sorry to disappoint.

Anyhoodle, remember waaaay back in March when Hugh and I went car shopping and were disappointed not to be able to find what we were looking for on the lot? Yes? Well, did you know that you can custom order a fully-loaded vehicle straight from the factory? Yes, we knew that, too. What we didn't know was that you could do so and spend less than you would on a car that was already on the lot and that was not fully loaded. Boggles the mind, doesn't it?

Equally mind boggling is the effect that the built-in DVD player has on the children; it's suddenly like traveling with zombies, glassy stare and all. Not that I am complaining, mind you in fact, I think I like it.

I also like the fact that I can plug my iPod into the dash and listen to my music on the Bose sound system. Oh, and the seat warmers, my ass, it shall never go cold again! Of course, the second we signed the paperwork, the price of gas shot up like the space shuttle, and, people at the Hellmouth look at you kind of funny when you insist on using canvas shopping bags for your organic veggies and then load them into a full-sized SUV but, I'm willing to overlook that part for the toasty buns.

Needless to say, the car was worth the wait and the skin I lost off my tongue every time I had to bite it to keep from telling the secret.

So, to recap: Not pregnant.

New 2007 Chevy Tahoe with all the bells and whistles, kidneys intact.

Very happy.