Thursday, July 24, 2008

Are We Having Fun Yet?

Yes, yes we are having fun.

After spending more time than expected at the County Fair, we finally got on the road for Mayberry. The trip included the usual stops along the way; Starbucks for frappuccinos, McDonald’s for lunch, random roadside areas at which The Girl threw up. Yes, my poor baby suffered another bout of car-sickness, it sucked.

She was fine and dandy again by the time we rolled into my parent’s drive-way, however and was off and running with her cousin in record time.

The first thing I did upon arriving was to run over my mother’s foot with my giant suitcase, ruining her pedicure and causing, what I’m certain, was at least a little bit of pain, making me the world’s worst houseguest.

My sister, The Barbie, was already here when we arrived and we wasted no time in making ourselves comfortable, claiming the guest room for ourselves (at least until her husband arrives tonight and evicts me from the bed) and spreading our belongings all over the bathroom, just like when we were teenagers.

Our assorted offspring immediately set about playing with the assorted toys that my mom has collected for her grandchildren over the years and, in no time at all, the house was thoroughly trashed.

I’m starting to think my parents deserve sainthood just for allowing us to visit their home.

Yesterday, Barbie and I ventured to the neighboring town for a bit of shopping and for lunch. By the time we returned, it was almost time to drive out to my older sister’s house for an early dinner. Older Sister was entertaining a houseful of guests of her own; three or four families with whom they rodeo. The grand total of people came to, I believe, 22 and my sister most certainly deserves sainthood when you factor in the following:

-Her visitors have been there since Sunday.
-And aren’t planning to leave until tomorrow.
-And, my brother-in-law (God bless him) was the one who invited them all to come and stay.
-Several months ago.
-Which he forgot to mention to my sister who was completely unprepared for the caravan of trucks and horse trailers that pulled into her drive last Sunday.

My brother-in-law (God bless him) is still alive and kicking although, I’m guessing, it required great restraint on my sister’s part not to kill him in his sleep. That, or she was just too damn tired to kill him; entertaining an army of people for days on end will drain you of your will to kill.

Or so I’ve heard.

For the record, were I in a similar situation, I would kill Hugh in his sleep no matter how tired I was.

Following dinner at Casa de My Brother-I-Law is the Luckiest Sumbitch on the Planet, I met up with my college roommates and we spent a couple of hours catching up. I got my baby fix for the year, cuddling and cooing at the most adorable baby on Planet Earth. I briefly debated smuggling him out of the house so that I could keep him but, Phoebe is nursing and I am unequipped to deal with that particular scenario so; I let her keep him.

Yes, I contemplated stealing my girlfriend's baby.

I am the world’s worst houseguest. But, at least she knew I was coming.

1 comment:

  1. Your sister is a saint. I would kill whomever invited house guests and didn't tell me!

    I have tried to steal my friends babies, they always catch me somehow...