Tuesday, July 01, 2008

July? Already? Egad, Where is the Summer Going?

Last night a lone mosquito broke into the house and had his way with me. I’m guessing it was a lone mosquito because I never saw more than one at a time but, what do I know; mosquitoes all look alike. Anywaay, thanks to that damn mosquito, I now have three welts on my chestal area. They do not look at all sexy when I am wearing a tank top and my empathy for the lepers has increased ten-fold.

I don’t really know any lepers but, still; that must suck.

As an aside, are there still lepers in this day and age or did leprosy go the way of 1970’s tube tops and jeans with roller skate patches ironed on the back pocket?

On a completely unrelated topic, Emily returned to work yesterday and duly delivered my performance review; I did much better than she thought that I would. Um, thanks?

On the topic of unrelated topics (????), today I am taking the Man-Cub to town for a session with a tutor. Despite having all A’s and B’s on his report card, the child still scored low on the school district’s standardized tests (don’t get me started on the standardized tests; I spit on the standardized tests) and the school recommended that he attend summer school which, past experience with The Girl has taught me; is an exercise in futility as far as any actual learning goes. The Girl attended one session a couple of years ago and, aside from being able to accurately identify the Spanish words for book and pencil; learned nothing. And we paid full price for the privilege of her doing so.

No thank you very much, this go around, I did some research and discovered a woman who actually gets to the bottom of why each student is having problems and addresses them accordingly. I know, what a concept! Public schools should take note.

Anywaaay, as I said, the Cub has a session today as well as one on Thursday. We are also doing a variety of exercises with him at home and, I have every hope that he will have mastered the areas in which he struggles by the time school starts again in August. At the very least I hope he will develop more self confidence in his skills and will be less intimidated by the standardized testing process (SPIT).

Since the Cub will be tutored on Tuesdays, my usual woman’s’ club day, and since I can’t see taking an entire day away from the store, I have requested a leave of absence from the club. Generally, when a member requests a leave, we all know she isn’t coming back but, in my case, I do intend to return. I am, as we all know, a huge sucker.

Later this evening, the Cub has baseball practice with the All-Star team. Practice lasts for two hours every evening and, by the time he gets home, the Cub is starving, dehydrated and exhausted; All Stars is serious business. So serious, in fact, that I have to surrender an original copy of the Cub’s birth certificate to be approved by the officials running the up-coming All-Star tournament. I understand that this is a precaution that must be taken in order to assure that some unethical coach doesn’t throw a fifteen-year-old ringer in with the nine-and-ten-year-olds but, honest to God; my son is the smallest kid on his team, I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t attract a hell of a lot of suspicion as far as being a ringer goes. The really tall kids on the team, on the other hand, well, I hope their mothers know where their original birth certificates are.

Luckily, I do know where the Cub’s certificate is and will surrender it well in advance of the tournament which is scheduled for next weekend. As luck would have it, the Cub is also signed up to attend Boy Scout camp on that weekend so; I am going to have to do some juggling to accommodate both events. I already paid for Scout camp and, we feel an obligation to the All-Stars so, I expect some serious scrambling come July 11-13th.

July, gag.

Where did my summer go?


  1. Don't freakin' get me started on the testing. We're still a year off from it with A, but CSAPs are a BIG reason why Tom and I left teaching.

  2. I hate standardized testing. I think it hurts more thne helps.

  3. All mosquitoes look alike!??!?

    You are a mosquito racist!