Thursday, July 31, 2008

Lazy, Bitchy and Ugly; The Trifecta

I spent almost an hour in the garden this morning, pulling the many weeds that decided to make their home there while I was away. The mosquito population has significantly diminished since Hugh’s attack on it with spray the night before last and I was able to weed in peace, quiet and relative comfort as the morning was cool, rather than blistering hot which has been the norm in the afternoons, lately.

On the whole, the gardening experience has been so-so. I don’t know if I should blame the weird spring weather we had or just chalk it up to the fact that I suck at the gardening but, for whatever reason, I have not produced a bumper crop of anything. Except weeds; if weeds were a staple crop, I would be in business.

Now, weed, on the other hand, is a quite profitable crop, or so I’m told; however, I’m not entirely certain Hugh would approve of me growing the ganga, it being illegal and him being the Dudley Dooright of Petticoat Junction and all.

And, I digress.

So, the garden is producing lettuce. I have a ton of green tomatoes. I have three bell peppers that are shaping up nicely and at least four white eggplants (why?). What I do not have are green beans in any large quantity nor peas, which are the main reasons I wanted to plant a garden to begin with; Mother Nature, she is so fickle. Most distressing of all is the fact that I have humungous zucchini and summer squash plants which seem to have no plans for reproducing offspring. Oh, they get blossoms on them, raising my hopes and causing me no end of excitement but, thus far, not a single blossom has turned into a vegetable and squash is supposed to be easy to grow.

Maybe I do suck at the gardening.

In other news, school starts in three weeks. Neither kid is the least bit thrilled by that piece of news, I assure you. We have managed to procure the necessary supplies but are lagging behind in the clothing department; we just have not had the time or energy to shop. Plus, as fast as these kids are growing, they will be out of anything I purchase before school even starts, better to wait, I say.

Also, I am lazy.

But, not too lazy to shop for our upcoming trip to Barbados, that I have pretty much covered except for one thing; a nice sundress to wear to dinner at the resort’s nicer restaurant. Why oh why is it that the fashions turn ugly just when I need to buy a particular garment? Seriously, every sundress I have seen so far this summer is made from fabric reminiscent of curtains that hung in my parent’s home circa 1972. It sucks (I mean, the fashions, Mom, not your curtains; I’m sure they were lovely at the time).

On the other hand, going naked in Barbados beats staying here, fashionably attired so, I can’t complain.

Well, I can and, I do but, you know what I mean.

Speaking of complaining about ugly things; I have a zit. It isn’t just any zit, it’s a monster zit. It’s The Zit that ate Tokyo. I am almost forty twenty-nine, again; I should be past the age of zits.

'Sup with that?


  1. I too, am almost twenty-nine and I went to bed last night with my face covered with dots with pimple cream. I also would like to know "sup wid' that?"

  2. My basil runneth over, my brussels sprouts are developing an attitude, and my tomatoes are almost non-existent. Reason? We have seen almost no bees. No bees=no fertilization=no tomatoes. I'm sad.

  3. I still get zits too, and I am also 29. I would like them to visit some teen somewhere who hasn't met them yet and leave me alone. :) That sounds mean which is not meant to, I just want the zitsbegone.