Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Final Thoughts on Biiiiiig Brother. Yes, FINALLY

I can't believe I made it! I hung in alllll summer long! I may be the strongest competitor this season, although, that's not saying much. But, onto this (final, thank GOD!) episode.

-  Whoa, Jury, bitter much?

-  Ha! Mark = The Incredible Sulk! Good one, Matt. Why weren't you that clever when you were actually IN the house?

-  Dr. Will is starting to show his age. He's still a handsome son-of-a-gun, though.

-  Cheezus crackers, Matt, shave that fucking animal off your chin.

-  We are thisclose to never having to see Alex's cleavage again. Hallelujah!

-  Oh, my! Josh's sisters look exactly how I would expect Josh to look if he were in drag. That's...not a compliment.

-  And Josh wins the final HOH competition. Huh. Didn't see that coming.

-  If he chooses to take Paul to the final two, he is even dumber than I think he is.

-  Aaaaand he IS even dumber than I thought he was.

-  Well,  this is a contest between two really unlikeable people.

-  Oh, goody, time for Jury questions; this won't end in bitter recriminations. Not at all.

-  Oh wow, Christmas is so thin, you could use her sternum as a washboard. Not her abs, her sternum.

-  Hey, you know who I don't miss? Jessica.

-  Is Kevin seriously wearing a tux? There aren't enough eye rolls in the world.

-  Alex, your bitch face is showing.

-  Crap. I totally forgot the patronizing head pat they give to the house guests evicted prior to jury selection; guess we'll be seeing the Jess and Cody reunion play out live. Where's my vomit bucket?

-  Jess: "I told you so". Again, not enough eye rolls in the world.

-  I think Paul's head is growing even as we watch.

-  And the winner is.....Josh? Wait, what?

-  Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

-  In your face, Paul!! Please don't come back next season. Actually, maybe I won't come back next season.

And, that's it, folks! We made it! Thanks for hanging in there with me.

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