Friday, April 20, 2012

Dress Rehersal

Yesterday, The Teenager informed me that she had to dress in "business attire" for a mock trial at school. She will be playing the part of the judge and, while her clothing will be covered by a judge's robe; her teacher requires that she wear appropriate clothing, nonetheless.

Unfortunately, The Teenager didn't own anything that could be considered "business attire", so; a shopping trip was in order.

$89 later, she was the proud owner of a pair of black dress slacks, a black cropped blazer (tres chic, I might have to borrow it), a lace-covered dress shirt and a pair of sensible black heels (thank you, JC Penney's for having reasonably priced clothing on a moment's notice). This morning, she added a pair of reading glasses and wrapped her hair in a low bun and even Hugh had to admit that she could totally be a ( young and woefully uneducated) judge.

While she was in dress rehearsal mode, last night; we also pulled out her prom dress to get a better idea of what kind of undergarments she should wear on the big night. I'm going to let you imagine her horror when I suggested that she wear a thong (the dress is a mermaid style which makes panty-lines pretty evident) and then proceeded to pull out a set of silicone sticky boobs for her to wear in place of a traditional bra.

I'll also let you imagine the look of horror on Hugh's face when I mentioned that we would be sending his daughter on a date wearing essentially nothing more than dental floss and rubber for underwear.

I defended my recommendation by pointing out that the child would be mortified if her date discovered the fact that she had flesh-colored rubber glued onto her chest, thus making her far less likely to try any funny stuff in the car after the dance. Not that she would, no matter what kind of skivvies she was wearing, but, still; a chastity belt is really hard to come by these days and you have to take your opportunities where they arise.

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