I may need help, but, we can talk about that later.
This is a small side table that I have had since the early 2000's, and, it looks like it.
The project required nothing more than chalk paint, a brush, sandpaper, some soft rags, and some wax.
The chalk paint covered the old finish in just two coats.
Once the paint was dry, I lightly sanded the table to get the aged look that I was going for, and then I rubbed on some wax, buffing it out after it had dried.
I was happy with the end result. The table is still kind of kitschy without totally screaming 2002, and I managed to kill an entire day that could have been spent spitting cherry pits over the porch railing while reading a trashy romance novel.
I think I know what I'm doing tomorrow.