At approximately 1:45 p.m., Friday, December 1, 2017, the remains of Maui the Fish were discovered deep within the recesses of his underwater castle during a routine final cleaning of the fish bowl. Cause of death appears to be natural causes. The two suspects held in his disappearance have been cleared of all wrongdoing and compensated for their trouble with extra treats and a good chin-scratching. No threats of lawsuits have been made.
-end of report
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