No Actual Animals Were Injured in the Writing of This Post

Despite clocking four miles in less than 45 minutes on the treadmill, three days a week for the past three weeks; the infamous Runner’s High continues to elude me. Rather than bouncing along euphorically, I find myself gnashing my teeth whilst mentally picturing puppies being tortured; I have no idea what is wrong with me.

On the other hand, in between grinding my teeth into fine-enamel grit and watching a mental parade of images of which PETA most definitely would not approve; I also solve the world’s biggest problems. We are talking, violence, war, famine and plague. Unfortunately, the second the treadmill rolls to a stop, I forget every detail of the process wherein I save the world but, you know; maybe I’ll be able to hold onto that knowledge once the high finally kicks in.

Fingers crossed.

But, not holding my breath.