Six Inches

-The length of a dollar bill

-The distance a snail travels in 2.5437 minutes

-The average length of the male penis

-The length of hair cut off my head this weekend

That’s right, I finally found a new stylist to tame my wayward tresses, and, if I had a dollar for every time she said “Wow, your hair is long. I’m really cutting a lot of hair off, here. Are you sure about this?” I could have paid for the haircut without whipping out my wallet.

So, yes, I had a penis-worth of hair removed from my head and the results are exactly what I wanted even if I did have to constantly reassure the stylist that my long hair was the product of laziness and not an actual attempt to grow it out on purpose. I feel like I made quite an accomplishment. Now, to lose ten pounds, reverse the aging process and finally establish world peace.

I’m going to be a very busy woman.