Survivor: Some Observations

-Russell is a dick. A dick with the hidden immunity idol but, a dick nonetheless.

-The men have no problem passing up the opportunity to eat chocolate while the women descend on it like a pack of hungry lions on the slowest gazelle.

-Colby is rather hot when he’s being an ass. And, you know, every other minute of the day.

-Jeff is never hot, and he’s almost always being an ass.

-Tom should have invested part of his first million dollars on a personal trainer.

-For such a brawny man, James is easily breakable.

-Jerri! Pole to the face! It’s actually an improvement.

-None of the chocolate treats in the rewards challenge look at all appetizing to me. I’m cured of the addiction, thank you, Jebus!!

-Coach and Russell = Lenny and Squiggy.

-Small animals could nest comfortably in Rupert’s facial hair and, probably do.

-Blindfold challenges are hilarious.

-The Heroes suck at puzzles.

-Boston Rob is The Puzzle Master.

-Amanda wants to star in her very own version of Look Who’s Coming to Dinner, co-starring James, obviously.

-Colby and Candace are the smartest members of their tribe. They would also make really pretty babies.

-Bye, Tom!You can console yourself by counting the million dollars you won the last time you played the game!