Friday, July 23, 2010

Today's Friday Flashback Postponed Due to PTSD

Yesterday was a busy day; I had a lot on my mind. The Man-Cub's cast was scheduled to come off, I had bookwork, banking, and grocery shopping to do as well as cleaning my house, plus; The Teenager and her friends needed a ride to the Rec Center for a pick-up basketball game.

As often sometimes happens when I get super-busy, I got a bit distracted and, well, I somehow managed to throw away a check for almost $400, a fact that I failed to realize until I was doing the store's daily deposit for the bank today.

Of course, yesterday's trash had already been taken to the outside cans but, I couldn't exactly chalk it up to giant whoopsie without even trying to find the check, I mean, I could but, that just wouldn't be right, all of which; is how I came to find myself hanging upside down in a fetid dumpster before lunchtime.

And, when I say hanging upside down, I mean, hanging upside down. From my waist. With my entire upper body including my head, in the dumpster like some crack-addict looking for a fix and, ok, I don't actually know any crack addicts so maybe they don't go looking for a fix in dumpsters but you get what I'm saying.

It was not my proudest moment.

Not to mention that my efforts were to no avail since there was no way in hell that a civilized banking institution would have touched that check with a ten-foot pole considering where it had been.

So, yes. I ended up calling the customer who had written the check, explaining the situation as honestly as possible, read: in embarrassing detail and begging for a replacement check. For the record, the customer thought the whole situation was hysterically funny and I may or may not have made her day with my description of the search.

Still not my proudest moment.

Tonight, I am going to wash the stench of the dumpster off my body, dress up in a fancy dress and attend the Policeman's Ball, all the while praying that I don't begin to suffer flashbacks from the experience like a Vietnam war veteran.

And, yes, comparing a dive in a dumpster to service in a war is probably extreme but I suffered, people! I really did.

Dumpster diver by day, socialite by night; crazy all the time.


  1. The last line should SOOOOOOOOO be your tag-line beneath the name of your blog!! FANTASTIC!!!! And I totally thought it was hysterical, too! Glad they are sending you a replacement check!

  2. LOL....Tamara is right! That last line is a PERFECT tag-line for your blog!!

    But i can't imagine you, because your so dang pretty, hanging by your waist...dumpster diving. ;)