Sunday, August 08, 2010

This Feels Kind of Like in the Movies, When the Main Characters Flee the Zombie Hoard by Any Means Necessary, Including Throwing Grandma Out of the Car as Bait

Hugh, the kids and I are leaving town in just a few minutes to begin our vacation. While we are gone, Emily has graciously agreed to house-sit which means stroking the cat’s fur as well as his ego in an attempt to avoid his inevitable habit of revenge-puking; hacking up hairballs all over the carpet when we leave him alone for any amount of time over, oh, two or three days.

Emily has also volunteered to man my garden which, despite this morning’s dusting with Sevin powder (it was like Nuclear Winter out there), will probably turn into a bloodbath wherein the now-mutant squash bugs pour forth from the garden in a steady mass of murderous insecticidal rage, hunt her down and feast on her braaaiiinns…

While I feel somewhat guilty for not having shared these fears with Emily, I do realize that she’s really quite spry and could, quite possibly, be the last man standing in a Grandma vs. Mutant Squash Bug show down and, admit it; you would pay good money to see that movie.

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