Saturday, May 21, 2011

Rapture Day and I'm Still Here. Is That a Bad Sign?

So, yeah, I haven't yet vanished into thin air, leaving behind my clothing and other Earthly bindings, this can mean one of three things:

1. The Rapture doesn't actually get started until later in the day, I mean; it is early.
2. The Rapturists got the date wrong in which case, I'm sure they are totally bummed since no one likes to plan a party and then find out that all their plans were made for the wrong day, like, how embarrassing.
3. The Rapture actually happened and I am too sinful to have been chosen, meaning that I will have to endure the Apocalypse with my family and friends (who also appear to still be here, sinners).

Seriously, though, those poor believers. Yesterday they were convinced that, by today, they would be entering the Pearly Gates. Today they must be devastated. Maybe tomorrow they will be able to look back and laugh. You know, while they plot the next date for the Rapture. Hey, maybe they can get on board with the Mayans and throw their hat in the 2012 ring, too.

In the meantime, I guess the zombie population that everyone expects to spring up after the Rapture will just have to wait which, gives us all more time to prepare ourselves, accordingly.

Thank goodness the CDC has provided some helpful information for doing just that.

Our government at work, people.

Wait, our government is working? Maybe it is the End of Days.

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