Saturday, April 06, 2013

I'm a Little Bit Country, But I Like Rock and Roll

Last night, Hugh and I met up with Chris and Jana at a camping site not far outside of Hooterville. They had loaded up their motor home earlier in the day and set out to secure the campsite, along with the Man-Cub and some other friends of ours.

The plan was for the group to ride dirt bikes during the day, spend the night, and then to ride the bikes again today.

Since I have no desire whatsoever to ride dirt bikes or to camp in the wilderness; Hugh and I opted to pop in for the evening before returning to the warmth and comfort of our own bed.

The night was beautiful, warm enough to be comfortable with just a small campfire and with skies so starry, we felt as though they were close enough to touch, and; we had a really enjoyable time with the group.

My only complaint today is the raging sinus headache caused by the smoke from the campfire. What the hell, body? Are we so old and delicate that we can no longer handle the best part of a woodsy?

Apparently so.

I find this sad, mostly because some of my fondest memories of college are of The Girls and I loading up our cars with city boys, finding a nice, quiet place on the river at which to build our campsite, and, enjoying stories (and beer) around the campfire.

One evening, in particular, stands out in my memory: we had been enjoying a nice evening with the city boys when a group of local yokels approached our camp, threatening to kick the boys asses if we didn't hand over our beer or some such nonsense (the details are a bit fuzzy, it was over twenty years ago after all). The Girls were quite vocal in our reluctance to acquiesce to the local yokels request and things got a bit heated. The city boys grew more and more nervous at the prospect of having their asses handed to them by some overgrown country boys and, they voted to hand over the beer, to break up camp and to move on.

We Girls were having none of that and, Phoebe drew our line in the sand when she picked up an empty beer bottle, broke it against a rock and began waving it at the yokels, daring them to "come and get it".

Country girls can survive, y'all.

The look on the city boys' faces is something that I will never forget: a mixture of horror, awe, shock, and, finally, relief when the yokels backed down and laughingly left us in peace.

That is only one example of the memorable things that happened to me while circled around a campfire with my friends. Of course, The lessons that the city boys took away from those nights were almost as important as the memories we all share. Those lessons include:
  1. How to build a campfire.
  2. How to properly extinguish a campfire.
  3. How to cook an entire meal in the hot coals of a fire, including the recipe for a kick-ass roasted whole chicken and corn on the cob.
  4. How to make the perfect smore.
  5. What a smore was to begin with (Yes, really).
  6. That beer always tastes better in the fresh air, under a starry sky, surrounded by friends in the great outdoors.
  7. The fact that you never, never, never fuck with a country girl.
I wish my weak-ass sinuses would remember that last lesson. Now, I am off to find a Claratin tablet and some Tylenol.

Country girls can survive but modern pharmaceuticals can assist in that effort.

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