Saturday, October 13, 2018

Perfection is a Myth and Life is Hard

I enjoy reading other people's blogs like I enjoy reading a good work of fiction; often, the two are pretty much the exact same thing.

Blogging used to be a fairly accurate and honest depiction of life; you got a decent picture of the trials and tribulations of raising a family, or striking out on your own as a young adult, or gracelessly aging into an empty nester. Now and days, bloggers are often more focused on selling a fluffed up picture of perfection; often creating a sales pitch that rivals even the most aggressive late-night infomercial.

It's sad, y'all, because, life is not perfect.

Life is messy and heartbreaking and awful and wonderful, often at the same time. People hit roadblocks, mentally, financially, physically, and emotionally, and, it's OK to admit when you're struggling. It's better than OK to talk about what helped you push past the bad stuff, too (it's also ok to link to a resource that might help someone else who is struggling, but, when you profit from that link, you're kind of being an asshole. Just sayin').

Everyone needs help at some point in their lives, everyone. I don't care how happy, healthy, well-off, or stable you are; somewhere down the line, you will need an assist. That's just life.

Recently, I have watched three-out-of-four of my adult children (I absolutely consider the children-of-my-heart to be mine; biology be damned) struggle with shit that life felt the need to throw at them; ugly, raw, painful, terrible things. None of them felt they could reach out for help until they were in absolute crisis, and, thankfully, when they did, we were able to provide the support they needed, but, I had to ask myself; why did it take hitting such a wall before they reached out? I blame a lot on the bullshit myth of perfection that their current involvement with social media presents, and, I had to ask myself if I was somehow contributing to that myth.

This blog, my little space on the interweb, is meant to be a place where I can preserve an honest account of our life. A space to preserve the daily moments that make up our lifetime together. It's not meant to present a picture of perfection that others will strive to emulate, nor will it ever be an airbrushed, sanitized, saccharine-sweet, commercial for (insert hot product of the day, here). If you read here, my only hope is that, when you are finished, you think "Hey, me too!" rather than "God, I wish", or "If only..." or "Must be nice..." because, life? Is not the BEST! all the time. It's not going to be made better if you just "follow this link...", or, "buy this product..." and, here's the best kept secret, the one that social media doesn't want you to know; it doesn't have to be.

Sometimes, the absolute BEST part of life is coming out on the other side...the other side of grief, the other side of crisis, the other side of chaos, pain, and loss. And, the greatest gift you can give yourself- and others- is honesty about what's going on prior to seeing "the other side".

If you're currently in a space somewhere in the middle right now, please know that you aren't alone and that it will get better. Life isn't made to be perfect, but you are perfectly made.

And that's the only perfection that truly matters.

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