How to Spend a Fun Fall Day in Small Town 'Murica

Saturday was an absolutely beautiful day here in Petticoat Junction; the weather was mild, the sky was bright, and, best of all; there was no wind.

Hugh and I took full advantage of it by attending the local Pumpkin Chuckin' contest at a farm just outside of town, because; nothing says “fall fun” like watching giant squash being hurled through space by an air canon.

We hadn't attended the annual event since the kids left home, but, I'm happy to say, not much has changed, and, as you know, I take great comfort in tradition. So, without further adieu, I bring you a step-by-step guide to how to enjoy a good Pumpkin Chuckin', as learned throughout my many years as a Pumpkin Chuckin’ attendee.

Don your best seasonally-appropriate outfit; mine includes an adorable pumpkin-specific t-shirt. Try not to be jealous.

If you have one, bring your fur-baby along; it will give you ample opportunity to pose for selfies together, just like you did back when your children were still young enough to tag along for the fun.

A word of warning, though: beware local friends with cameras; you may find yourself tagged on their Facebook page along with a caption about taking selfies with your dog. Said comment may elicit numerous laughing emojis from your other friends. And family. And, strangers on the internet.

After you've wandered about in the pumpkin patch, head over to the corn maze and pay (generously) for the privilege of getting lost among the stalks. This is also when the fur-baby comes in handy, especially if your fur-baby is talented in sniffing his way out of a corn maze (as an aside, we used to depend on the Man-Cub for this particular purpose, although, he led with a map, not with his nose).

(As another aside, Hugh used to navigate the corn maze with Queen B perched on his back; Boomer Dog, when offered a piggy-back ride, wanted no part in it. I think Hugh was a tad bit disappointed)

Once you've escaped the maze, make time to catch the tractor pulls...

...and, of course, all of the various the pumpkin chucking apparatus (apperati?? What is the plural of apparatus?), which, is why you came to the event to begin with.

Try not to be disappointed when the only pumpkins you actually see go airborne are the ones thrown from the old-school catapult, built by the Boy Scouts; the fire department, producers co-op, and various other groups utilize other-more powerful-methods with which to chuck their pumpkins, and, at best, you will see the explosion at the end of the barrel and not much else.

If you're really invested in spending the day at the farm, you could stay for the haunted corn maze, which is a fundraiser for the local fire department, or, if you're like us, you'll call it a day well before that happens and you'll load the dog back into the car and head for home.

One thing is sure; you'll be happy that you enjoyed such a gorgeous fall day. Especially when you wake up Monday morning to three inches of snow.

Bleh. True story.

Hello, Winter. Go away.