Wednesday, July 26, 2017

This Week's Thoughts On Biiiiiigggg Brother

- Cody back in the house, bleh.

- Jessica primping her extensions while talking strategy with Ramses, triple bleh. I thought the caterpiller-like false eyelashes were bad; I mean, could she be any more fake? No. The answer is no.

- I hope Raven doesn't gamble because her poker face sucks.

- Obligatory crying man sequence in five...four...three...two...Jason! What? Rodeo clowns don't cry! What the hell, man? Cowboy UP for cripes sake.

- Matt continues to provide the prettiest scenery in the house.

-I feel like we haven't seen enough suffering due to contestants being on slop this season. Dare I say things are getting cushy in the Big Brother house?

- Josh needs to stop with the meatball nonsense. What a tool.

- That idiotic fur thing that Paul insists on  wearing is making me ragey; it's an insult to self-respecting animals, everywhere.

- Do none of the men in this house own shirts? Other than Kevin's Stallone-style wife beater, I mean.

- Urkel is going home. Um, I mean Ramses. Ramses is going home. Or is he? Dun, dun, dun...

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