Sunday, August 26, 2018

Recipes From the Porch: Cheddar Zucchini Biscuits

We've come to the time when, following weeks and weeks of zucchini harvesting, I have grown weary of the yellow vegetable and am doing everything in my power to foist it off on anyone who expresses even the slightest interest in taking it.This has not been as successful as one might hope, and, I'm not being even the tiniest bit paranoid in assuming that people are avoiding me for fear that I come armed with squash, I mean, they run when they see me coming. Seriously, they run.

And, honestly, who could blame them?

I had personally exhausted all of the usual methods of preparing the vegetable, including roasting, grilling, sauteing, baking, and boiling (don't try this one at home, it results in a gross, flavorless mush; trust me on this) and was thisclose to pulling the damn plant out of the garden when I happened upon recipes for zucchini biscuits on Pinterest.

After attempting several versions I have finally found one that, with some tinkering, has become a favorite here at Casa de Chelle, and I feel I would be remiss in my duty as a citizen gardener if I didn't share it. Also, if some poor, distraught-looking friend approaches you with an armful of squash and a desperate look in her eye, you will be less likely to turn tail and run. Just take the squash and smile because you now have a recipe that makes it worth accepting.

 The ingredients:

3 1/2 cups flour
1 Tbsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
2 tsp baking soda
1 1/2 tsp garlic powder
2 Tbsp fresh thyme (1 Tbsp if using dried)
2 cups shredded zucchini
1 1/2 cups shredded cheddar cheese
3/4 cup milk
5 Tbsp butter, melted


Preheat oven to 400 degrees and lightly grease a 9x13 baking dish.

Combine dry ingredients, set aside.

Grate zucchini. Try not to end up with a kitchen that looks like a confetti popper just exploded. Fail miserably.

Squeeze excess moisture from zucchini and combine with dry ingredients, using your hands; try to coat all of the zucchini.

Add cheese and coat thoroughly with flour mixture before adding milk and butter, reserving 1 Tbsp of butter.

Mix, using a rubber spatula, scraping sides of the bowl and incorporating all of the flour into the dough. Dough will be hella sticky; this is normal. Messy as fuck, but, normal.

Using your hands, form dough into balls and place in baking sheet, with sides of biscuits touching. Brush with remaining tablespoon of melted butter.

Bake for 20-25 minutes or until tops of biscuits are golden and edges are crunchy.

I find the biscuits are best served hot out of the oven, but, they also store well under a sheet of plastic wrap and can be warmed up in the microwave.

And there you have it! A squash recipe that almost completely hides the squash! I wish it used more of the stuff (I find that just one medium-sized squash yields 2 grated cups more than sufficiently) but, I've always thought it would be fun to sneak out under cover of darkness, leaving zucchini on people's doorsteps and escaping into the night, looks like I may very well get my chance.

Ten bucks says Neighborhood Watch totally looks the other way out of fear that I will force squash upon them if they approach me.

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