Dear Lady Hogging My Favorite Treadmill At the Gym Tonight,
I don't mind the fact that I had to use my second-favorite treadmill for my run this evening. I didn't mind running next to you, even though you kept shooting me weird glances while throwing off my pace with that odd skip-step thing that you were doing. I didn't even mind when you had that spasmodic coughing fit that left me concerned for your general health and well being.
What I do mind is the fact that, after you finished with your wog (not quite a walk, but not a qualified jog), and, after that spasmodic coughing fit; you completely neglected to wipe down the machine as is requested by numerous signs displayed throughout the gym as well as being general knowledge to anyone, who has ever used a gym in their life.
I did mention that you were on my favorite treadmill, right? I certainly wouldn't want to jump on that machine following the mucus shower that you spewed all over the place, nor would I wish that on some other unsuspecting person. Senior citizens with vulnerable immune systems use our gym, friend.
So, when I finished my run, I wiped down your machine as well as my own. I don't suppose I have to tell you that, in the future, I will do a peremptory wipe down of any treadmill that I get on at the gym; I may have been an unsuspecting fool once, but, now I am enlightened. I guess I have you to thank for that.
So, thanks?
Sincerely,
The Woman Who Offered to Perform the Heimlich on You in Case You Were Actually Choking To Death on the Treadmill Next to Her
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