Why Is There No Gift Wrapping Elf?

As indicated by the title of this post; I am woefully behind on my wrapping. Each day, I awake with the best of intentions for completing the chore, and, each day I fail, miserably.

And, as also indicated by the title of this post; I have to believe that, were there really a Santa, he would command that creepy elf on a shelf to wrap my packages in festive papers while I slept.

Instead, my elf just swings lazily in the hammock-like embrace of the Man-Cub's stocking, which, is hung by the chimney with care.

Unfair, says I.

Unfair.