Wednesday, August 06, 2014

I Am Suffering From Summer Short-Timer Syndrome

The signs and symptoms of SSTS include:

-The distinct desire to play hooky from work in order to enjoy the last gasp of summer.

-The release of a melancholy sigh each time I see a hummingbird at the feeder or a butterfly on the windowsill.

-The burning need to wear every last pair of cute sandals in my closet while the weather is still nice enough to accommodate me.

-Ditto the cute miniskirts, shorts, capris and sundresses.

-Actual tears forming at the thought of dry-docking The Sea Chelle (but we hardly even used her!!!).

-An inability to concentrate (although, to be fair, this happens at most other times of the year as well).

-Bile rising in my throat at the sight of Christmas trees appearing in Hobby Lobby (seriously?!).

-An inexplicable urge to go to a drive-in movie, to roast marshmallows over a campfire, to ride Lulu-the-bike to the park, and/or to lay on a blanket under the stars, you know, before it is too late.

-The tendency to snap at people who comment on how much they are looking forward to cooler weather (are they insane?!).

-A reluctance to shop for school supplies for the Man-Cub (because, if he doesn't have supplies, he can't start school, and, if he can't start school, then The Teenager certainly can't leave for college, and, if The Teenager can't leave for college, then it will be like endless summer! Forever green! That's how it works, right? Tell me I'm right!).

Although there is no cure for SSTS, the following therapies have proven effective in diminishing the symptoms:

-Playing hooky from work.

-Laying in the sunshine.

-Water, in any form, but, preferably in/on a lake.

-Eating ice cream cones.

-Working in the garden.

-Retail therapy, in the form of the purchase of the latest shade of OPI, preferably from the new autumn collection (to ease me into the new season).

-Attending end-of-summer social events that require me to be outside with flies, mosquitoes, and people I don't know very well/at all (otherwise known as Aversion Therapy).

Lucky for me, we will be spending this Saturday at the reunion of my dad's side of the family, folks from whom we have been somewhat estranged over the years.

In New Mexico.

If that doesn't cure me, I don't know what will.

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